Kay before you assume I'm just doing this to follow the rend set by my friends, listen to me reasoning.

I am sick of feeling abandoned, unrecognized, and fat. I am sick of pouring my heart and soul out to write a good story, put it up, and have nobody read it. What do I have to do to please you people? Ugh. I'm sick of waiting on pins and needles for someone to say "Hey I'm just a random person but I really like what you're doing here." I'm sick of everything. Thinking. Feeling. Hating how I look and feel and what I do day in and day out. I'm sick of having to actually force things upon people to get a rise out of them. I'm sick of everything, everything, everything. I'm sick of Fuse and the VJ's trendy scene clothing, I'm sick of the suburbs. I'm sick of not being trusted. What the fuck is wrong with me? I hate everything. I hate hating everything and then the next second, loving life. I hate feeling guilty. I want to crawl into bed and sleep until I'm 18. I want to meet someone who I can be with, who I want to pack up into a suitcase and take them everywhere. I want to stop playing Green Day songs on my bass while I screech out the lyrics. I want to be able to pick up my bass and play something inside my head. I want the buzzing to stop, the feeling to stop, the thoughts to stop. I want the stupid skinny models on TV to go away and stop making me feel fat and and and I hate TV. I hate Internet. I hate MySpace. I hate falloutboyrock.com and and I hate Dillon Martindale and I want everything to go away. I want to soar above the nothingness and breathe deep and be happy. And I want pills to stop coming with warning labels, I honestly don't want to know that my happy pills are going to make me shit my pants. Or at least I want them to stop making me shit my pants and just make me happy.

I want to know what I want.